When Boys Fight With Each Other
As parents we can't always control what our children do. The only thing we can control is our reaction to it.
This particular day I was busy in the study when I heard some bad language. Now bad language is forbidden at our house. So I went to investigate and find out what was going on. Out in the lounge I found my three boys all on top of each other in a fight. Now I have to say, if you have girls you probably can't understand this. But boys like to fight. Or at least, my boys wanted to fight today.
Sam was choking so I quickly separated the boys. Then I was given a barrage of "he did this then I did this and he did this..." My mind was spinning as I was trying to figure out the best way to deal with this violence. the boys all went to their rooms and I went to see each boy separately to get the story about what had gone down.
And do you know what? My boys gave me three different versions. Hmmm...
It was really bad timing for the boys as they had just organized for a friend to sleep over because it was school holidays. I told the boys that they would have to ring back their friend and cancel the sleepover on account of their violent episode. Then I went out for an hour, leaving them at home.
Actually, I was hoping that my kids would think about their behavior and do something while I was out to make up for their bad choices. I was just giving them an opportunity to right things. As it was school holidays I wanted to try to extend a little grace to them.
Well, as I pulled up in the driveway I could hear the vacuum going. As I walked into the kitchen there was one boy furiously washing dishes as if his life depended on it. And the third boy was tidying in the lounge. Now that is what I was hoping for.
Now you need to understand that I did have every right to cancel the sleepovers. But I was hoping that the boys would put in some effort to show me that they were sorry for their behavior. And that they did. I was thrilled with their efforts so decided that their sleepovers could go ahead as planned. I am always looking for opportunities to extend grace to my children and I definitely extended grace to them this day when they didn't deserve it.
I sat the kids down and we had a chat. Everyone apologized to each other and we discussed how we could have dealt with the issue another way and still had a good outcome. The end result? The kids still got their sleepover. Mum extended grace to them this time. And the kids know that next time, the penalty will be more severe.
